These factors can destroy your sweet relationship if you are not careful or manage them properly. They are so tiny that most of the times are being neglected, but they eat up relationships like worms. Whether you are in a relationship or intending to be, these things can make your sweet relationship go sour, so you must avoid them at all cost.
When you meet a very interesting person, very special; you always want something serious with that person, you desire the journey of your relationship to be smooth and sweet. I have put up this article just for you. If you follow it adequately, step by step, putting everything here into practice, you will surely see your relationship flourish.
It is easier to avoid a broken relationship than to amend it.
Here is a guide to help you achieve that.
- LACK OF GRATITUDE
Most couples have neglected this very important factor. Gratitude plays a major role in improving our happy moods. Partners that lack this are gradually heading to a disaster in their relationship.
Appreciate every little effort done by your partner. Some things you think does not matter actually do. Be grateful in words and in actions. Do not say it is her responsibility after all. Do not say it is his duty as the man, so why should I thank him?
Do you know what magic ordinary ‘thank you’ could do in your relationship if you make it a habit? Why not appreciate her for preparing a meal for you, for taking care of you and the house. What about thanking him for fixing that light bulb that broke or for providing for the family.
Couples that live happily practice the things we regard as not important. If you do not want to ruin your relationship, start appreciating your partner. Show a little gratitude. Let her know you noticed her little efforts, do the same with your man, appreciate him for being there for you. It will serve as an encouragement and will push him to do more.
You do not have to make it a big ceremony, give him a smile and say thank you. Write ‘thank you’ on a piece of paper and drop it where she can find it. Cultivate a lifestyle of gratitude and see how your relationship will blossom.
Trust is a very important aspect of every relationship. It is one of the keys to a happy home but when it is lacking, it becomes very dangerous. Trust helps you to believe and understand your partner.
A relationship that lacks trust is bound to crash eventually. Trust is what helps you to believe your partner when she says, he is ‘just a friend’ or he says she is ‘just a colleague’. It helps you to give your partner the benefit of doubt.
A relationship without trust is sitting on a time bomb, ready to explode at any time. When there is no trust, everything your partner says becomes a lie and all his moves become very suspicious.
If you want your relationship to work, learn to build trust in it. It is one of the essential ingredients you can’t do without.
- LACK OF COMPLIMENT
Lack of compliment makes your partner doubt your love. It is a beetle eating up your relationship before you know it; it will collapse before your very eyes. This is similar to the first factor but stands out on its own.
Compliments help in building a healthy relationship. It makes your partner very relaxed and comfortable with you. Who does not want to have a relationship where he or she feels comfortable?
It builds the confidence of your partner. Learn how to compliment your spouse. Tell her how beautiful she is. Compliment her new hairdo, her dressing, her body. Let her know you still find her attractive. Tell her she looks charming.
Let women do not think that men do not need compliments. They need it as much as women do, if not more than. It builds their ego in a positive way. Compliment his hair cut, his tie, his perfume, his body. Pay attention to little details, things as little as his fingernails.
If you do not want a ruined relationship, make compliment a habit, inculcate it into your lifestyle. It does not cost anything. Write a piece of paper and keep for him. Tell him how lucky you are to have him. Tell him he is the most handsome man you know. Tell her she is the best thing that has ever happened to you. Tell her she is still as beautiful as the first day you met her.
Compliments bring fresh air into your relationship. It makes you feel young and sexy every day. There is no joy more than knowing that your partner still finds you very attractive.
Show it both in words and in actions.
- NOT CAREFUL WITH WORDS
Tongue they say is sharper than a two-edged sword. You can use your tongue to destroy your relationship by saying terrible things to your partner.
Be careful what you say to your spouse, think before you speak. Choose your words because you cannot retrieve a spoken word. You call him all sort of names, reminding him of his inefficiencies because you are angry, that is not good enough.
You tell her horrible things, even to the extent of going back to her past just to hurt her because she provoked you. Moreover, you think that once you say sorry, all those horrible things will just vanish into a thin air. No, those things are being stored at the back memory someday it will explode.
If you want to protect your relationship, guide your words. Do not murder your partner with your tongue. Do not remind him of that terrible past. Stop throwing his shortcomings and inefficiencies on his face with any opportunity you get.
To strengthen your relationship, develop the habit of speaking nicely to your partner. Do not hurt each other with your words. Always remember that whatsoever that has come out of your mouth, you cannot take it back, no matter how sorry you are.
- BORING DAILY ROUTINE
Variety is the spice of life. Doing the same thing every day for a long time can be very boring and lead to lack of interest. Rotating the same routine repeatedly can kill the spark in your relationship.
Try to change how you do things. Spice it up a little. Rotate your chores, responsibilities, or activities occasionally. Add a little fun to your routine. Make it more interesting. Be creative, it’s your life and happiness we are talking about.
Skip doing it the usual way sometimes, go out of your way and do it differently. Surprise yourselves from time to time. Remember how you used to have fun together when you newly met, introduce it occasionally. It will help to ignite that fire between you.
- BAD INFLUENCE
Giving people, too much right in your relationship will ruin it someday.
To you, this is not how your friend is managing her home and you want to manage yours the same way, remember your friend is not married to your husband. Therefore, what works for her might not work for you.
The same thing goes to the men who always share ideas and family tips at the club or beer parlour, you want to control your wife just the way your friends are controlling theirs, remember your wife is different from theirs, so it might not go down well with you.
Taking opinions from third parties is an expressway to crash your relationship. Don’t allow the influence of family and friends to cloud your sense of judgement and reasoning. Some people are experts in unsolicited advice. Discard immediately.
If you want to retain your relationship, find out what works for you and stick to it. Period!
- NO SPACE ALONE
Sometimes all you need is time alone. You need space. A space to work on yourself, to build yourself, to think things through, to improve on yourself.
Being with someone together for a very long time could kill the spark. Take a time to be alone for a while not for too long, remember.
Travel alone some times; go for a vacation, business trip, maternity leave, study trip or anything, a few days, weeks or even a month.
Research has proven that partners grow fonder of each other after spending some time apart.
Remember it’s not for too long. Staying apart for too long could kill the spark still. Keep that in mind.
Space helps to ignite your love and bring back that lost spark you were looking for.
- NO COMMON INTEREST
Couples that have nothing in common will crash like an aeroplane. Their relationship has no root. It will die before you say jack. They are like oil and water, very immiscible.
Find out one thing the two of you love and take advantage of it. If there is nothing, try to develop one. Do not fake it because if you do, your interest in it will not last.
Couples that enjoy one particular hobby together are more likely to have a beautiful relationship. It helps your communication level and improves your intimacy.
So get to work and find out what you two love the most and enjoy it to the fullest.
- NO PATIENCE TO LISTEN
This is simple and yet very difficult. It is not easy to listen to someone some times. The problem with most couples is that everyone wants to speak at the same time. No one wants to listen. You could have avoided some of your fights if only you listened.
You could have also managed that argument not to escalate if only you listened to what he has to say. This relationship would have not gone through this rough path if you had listened to her and understood her pain.
As simple as it seems, many people will never have time to listen to their partner. You are too busy with work and other activities and you forgot that she needed to talk to you; she needs you by her side to listen to her and understand her.
You forgot that even as a man, there are some issues he would want to talk to you about just to feel relieved, but no, you have no patience nor time for that. Either you are too busy or you are angry.
Save your relationship from ruin and pay attention to your partner. Listen when she has something to tell you. Don’t shut her down. Pay attention to your man and understand his feelings, listen to him, that might be all he needed at that time; someone to talk to. Don’t be carried away in the chatting mood that you forgot to listen to his own story.
Let me whisper something to your ear. (If you don’t listen to him, he will look for someone to talk to outside, because everyone needs someone to talk to at one point in life).
- PHYSICAL VIOLENCE
It is evil and barbaric to lay your hands on your woman and beat her up like a child. Where is your manner? Oh! I forgot you have lost it a long time ago.
This is very serious. Beating your partner is the best and easiest way to ruin your relationship.
Lest I forget, some women also beat their men. Yes. Physical abuse is not just on one side. Above all, desist from all other forms of abuse, mental, psychological, emotional, sexual, and even spiritual abuse. Keep your relationship clean.
Instead of hitting her, please walk away. Give yourselves some time to calm down before talking about it again. If you wish to stop but you can’t, please bury your ego and seek for help.
LACK OF COMMUNICATION
As far as I am concerned, this is the most important factor.
Lack of communication can ruin many things in your relationship. You do not talk to each about anything. The man wakes up and does anything he likes; the woman wakes up and does anything she likes. Nobody knows what the other is doing. This is a dead relationship; you are just housemates.
Communications can save many things. Partners that have a perfect communication life will definitely have a perfect relationship. Every type of war can be resolved through communication. Try it and see the magic.
Learn how to talk to each other. If you are upset about a certain thing, talk about it. If your partner is misbehaving, talk about it, if you are having challenges at work or in your life, talk about it. If you are not comfortable with his lifestyle, still talk about it. You can talk about virtually anything.
If you do not want to ruin your relationship, create time to talk, not a time to fight or quarrel but to discuss like two mature and civilized people. Sit down and talk about that particular thing that is not working well and the things you can do to amend it. Do not keep secrets.
You can settle all other factors affecting your relationship right here, just by having an open communication lifestyle.
- Unhealthy sexual life
We just cannot skip this one because it is as important as the air we breathe. Many relationships have crashed today due to imbalance sexual lifestyle of the couples. This topic is very complex that we cannot treat it fully here. It is supposed to be an article on its own.
So many things can lead to unhealthy sexual life between couples. It could be a natural or artificial problem. Natural could be a medical disorder or inborn like lack of sexual urge, sexually weak, etc, while artificial could be so many things like, not attracted to the partner, busy schedule, anger, an extramarital affair or poor sexual skill.
The good news is that all of these problems have solutions. Number one step is communication. Talk to yourselves about it, do not shy away from it because it will ruin your relationship faster than you can imagine. Number two; seek for help. If it is medically connected, seek for medical help but if it is not, look for a therapist to talk to. Number three; help your partner to overcome his/her issue.
In most cases, you can hardly find couples that are at the same level. Mostly, you will discover one is more active than the other is. Compromise is very necessary here. Either you step up to meet his level or he will step down to meet your level but it is more appropriate for you to step up and become more active. That is why communication is very important alongside talking with a professional.
If you do not want your relationship to crash, find a better way to balance your sexual life before it will ruin things.
The happiness and success of your relationship lie wholly in your hands, your partner and you. For it to work, the two of you must agree to it. It is not a one-man job. You both must be in agreement to make it work.
Start early in your relationship to fight these factors if you do not want them to ruin the beautiful life you are having right now with your partner. Remember what I said earlier; it is easier to avoid a broken relationship than to amend it.
We have talked about some things that can ruin your relationship. This is a quick recap:
- Lack of Gratitude
- Lack of Communication
- Lack of Compliment
- Not Careful With Words
- Boring Daily Routine
- Bad Influence
- No Space Alone
- No Common Interest
- No Patient to Listen
- Physical Violence
- Unhealthy Sexual Life
Remember, to always talk about your issues with your partner and/or a professional, do not allow the opinion of a third party to determine how you live.
I wish you all the best in your relationship. Live well and enjoy every bit of it. Till we meet again.
Don’t forget to share your thoughts, whether you agree with me or not. Add other factors you feel I didn’t include in this article. Use the comment box or send me an email.
Much love from me.