Yes! There are some people you should stay away from; they are toxic up and harmful to your health.
For you to be successful, live a happy and healthy life there are some types of people you do not need in your life. You are better off alone than with them. stay away from them.
Some people are more hurtful than they are helpful. Would you stick with such individuals?
We all need one another in our day-to-day activities, in our businesses, in every aspect of our lives. Nobody wants to be alone.
Loneliness is a negative condition resulting from a state of aloneness. http://www.psychologytoday.com
It is a complex and unpleasant emotional response to isolation. It is accompanied by sadness and anxiety.
THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERISTICS ARE ASSOCIATED WITH LONELINESS:
- Emotional conflict
- Low self-esteem
- Social withdrawal
Note: being alone is not the same as being lonely.
EXTREME STATE OF LONELINESS CAN LEAD TO CHRONIC MENTAL AND PHYSICAL CONDITIONS (EFFECTS OF LONELINESS) SUCH AS:
- Substance abuse
- Suicidal thought
- Poor sleep and lack of appetite
- Impaired immune and cardiovascular functioning.
All these are effects of the chronic feeling of loneliness. There are so many ways to treat this mental disorder but these are just a few.
THE TREATMENTS OF LONELINESS
- Therapy, this could be in form of speaking with a professional therapist or the informal approach, like talking with someone who really cares.
- Creating a community event for people who feel alone.
- Increasing the person’s social interactions.
Now, seeing all these adverse effects of loneliness, it could be concluded, that we really need people.
WHY DO WE NEED PEOPLE?
We need people for different reasons:
- For companionship
- For encouragement
- For support, it could be financial, emotional, psychological, physical or even spiritual support. The list goes on, whichever is the reason.
This brings us to our main topic for the day.
We need people for various reasons but there are some people we do not need and they should be avoided. These people are directly or indirectly causing harm to our lives, relationships, businesses, families and our overall happiness.
How can you identify them in your life? Check out the list below.
People, who possess any of these qualities listed below are not needed in your life:
The Exhausting Machine
This person drains your energy. He is very argumentative, authoritative and domineering. He always wants things to go his way, every decision and ideas must come from him if not, there will be trouble.
He gets furious when things are not done his way. It’s almost impossible to have a smooth and successful conversation with him. Everything will always end up in an argument.
He is never satisfied with you no matter what you do. You feel a high level of tension whenever you are about to meet with him or you feel super exhausted anytime you are around him. He makes little issues seem so big. These types of people are energy vampires.
Avoid these people. They are not good for you.
The King of Negativity
This individual is full of negative vibes. He spreads negativity like a virus. He does not believe in you. He doubts every of your dreams and plans.
He sees 101 reasons it will not work instead of why it will work. He will always tell you, you cannot do it. This person eliminates every positive feeling you have about life and yourself.
He will make you believe that your life is worthless and you are not good for anything. He is not happy when you are succeeding and blames you when you fail. This type of person is a vision killer.
Stay away from him if you want to make it in life.
Nothing makes her happy. Her heart is so bitter that it affects everyone around her. She will inflict you with her bitterness. She is always picking on people.
Always searching for your flaws, your shortcomings, and will always throw them on your face. She is a fighter and loves controversy. She finds errors in whatsoever you do.
She is very insulting and quick to anger. She takes on someone’s anger on you. Transfer of aggression. Bitter heart people do not know how to love. She feels the world is against her.
Run away from people like this. They will make your life so miserable.
The Better Than
This person feels he is smarter and better than you are. He exalts himself too high and belittles everyone around him. He talks about himself with so much ego.
He enjoys being at the top. He wants to know what you are doing, how far you have gone, the level of your success and everything happening in your life. It is not because he cares, he needs all those information of yours to be sure you are not doing better than he is.
Keep your personal progress away from this person. He does not mean well. They will never compromise or go out of their way to help and they will always believe that no one else is worth their time.
You do not need this person in your life he will destroy you eventually.
This person is always clapping for you at your presence but stabs you behind your back. He is not real. He bears too many grudges in his heart against you yet he dines and wines with you. He is envious of you and very jealous of your achievements and blessings.
He always believes you do not deserve the good things that come your way. He claims to love you and care so much about you but behind, he says terrible things about you and uses every opportunity he gets to bring you down.
For example, he is the person that will tell your boss dangerous things about you so that you do not get that promotion, he will tell your partner horrible things just to get you separated.
You really do hate yourself if you stick close to this person. Once you identify him, dispose him like the garbage that he is.
The Smooth Talker
This person can smooth talk you into doing anything she wants. She always has a way of convincing you even against your own wish. She acts as if she is your friend or cares but she does not because she has her own selfish agenda.
This person brings out the worst in you. You will know her If you are doing the things you do ONLY when she is around. She can easily manipulate you. She is a bad influence. She will disappear once her dangerous and selfish agenda is achieved.
Please stay away from these types of people. They will cause you more harm than good.
The Victim Player
She is always seeking for people’s sympathy. Her strategy is to make you look bad. Everything you do always ends up against her, nothing you do is ever right. She counts all as an offence.
You must explain everything you say or do just to convince her it is not about her. Sometimes life could be very unbearable with this type of person around you. She always has people who are ready to defend her, care for her or protect her; she knows how to gain pity and sympathy from people.
She always blames people around her for every of her misfortune or predicament. Nothing is ever her fault, neither, will she ever take responsibility for her own actions.
This person will cause you so much pain. Stay away from her.
She is always in unhealthy competition with you. She is following up in all your activities just to know what you are doing and to be sure, she beats you to it. She wants to be YOU. Never tell everything that you know to her.
A person who wants to be you, will be the person that will turn up destroying you. She is happy as far as she is ahead of you and gets upset whenever you are doing better. If you want to remain her friend, just make sure you are below her.
You do not need this type of person in your life.
This is another set of terrible people. Nothing comes out of his mouth except lies. He is a lie factory. He manufactures lies like goods. He lies with literally everything. How can you trust this type of person who lies with everything?
He has lied to you repeatedly and he is still lying to you even right now. Remember the saying, never lie to someone who trust you and never trust someone who lies to you. These types of people can never be trusted.
Nothing good will ever come out of this relationship. Ditch him immediately.
The Problem Instigator
This person likes to cause a fight between people by putting them up against themselves while she sits back and watches. She is very dangerous. She can divide a perfect relationship by telling both parties terrible things about each other.
Her gain and joy are to control you. She shares secret with the two of you, causing mistrust and anger between you. She enjoys to see people fight. This person acts as if she is the only good person in the whole world whom everyone can trust with his or her life. She can make you believe her and even take an oath on her behalf.
Be careful with this person. She is more dangerous than a snake. Run away from her.
He appears and disappears like a ghost. You can never count on his friendship or support. You will never see him when you need him. One time he is with you, the next time you check, he is nowhere to be found.
He will come back as if nothing happened with a lot of stories and excuses. Why would you keep giving this person a chance in your life, so that he will keep on messing with you?
He will raise all your hopes to the sky and disappears into a thin air for months or years, crashing all your hopes and plans. He is always ready to say sorry, you will hear him say things like; it will never happen again, it was not my intention, something came up and all that.
Stop listening to him. He is messing with your head.
The Drama Queen
She always wants to be at the center of the occasion. She is an attention seeker. She always wants to steal your moment, to over-shadow you. She feeds on attention and gets uncomfortable when you are the one shining. She creates an unnecessary scene when she is not having the attention of everyone to herself just to achieve that.
Run away from people like this because they will always ruin your happiness.
She is always telling you about people, she tends to know everything about everyone. Remember she will tell people about you too. She has nothing good to offer you. She adds nothing to your life.
Real friends will run away from you when they discover you are hanging out with a gossiper and they will keep vital information away from you.
No one loves to share personal info with a gossiper. She always has something bad to say about everyone, nothing people do appeals to her. She is not your friend. She will sell you out to enemies one day.
You do not need this person in your life. Stay away from people like this.Save your energy for something more productive.
He is a friend of convenient. He thinks only of himself. This person cares no or less about you. He will never support you. Stay away from people who do not support you. People who do not support your dreams or who are not there for you in times of trouble.
A friend in need is a friend indeed. This person will never compromise for your sake but he will get furious when you are not there for him. He does not make out time for you, he is too busy to listen or talk to you, to know how you feel, to attend to your needs, or to care about your overall well-being.
Remember that too busy is a myth. The person who is with you throughout the hard times is your real friend. Save yourself too much headache by staying away.
Know when you matter in someone’s life and if you find out you do not mean much to this person, be bold enough to walk away. It is called self respect.
He has neither blemish nor dark spot. Everything about him is just perfect. That is what he always wants you to believe anyway. He blames you for every little mistake and makes you feel unqualified.
Accepting his mistakes will really affect his ego, so he never will. He is always right, never wrong. This person will never accept corrections or your advice no matter what. He is sometimes known as ‘The know it all or Mr. Right”.
Whenever he makes any mistake, he will perfectly convince you accepting that everything is your fault. He will never apologize. How can he apologize when it is completely your fault.
This person will gradually drive you insane. Stay away from him.
You call her your own and open up yourself to her but in return, she will use your weakness or problem against you. She sticks close to you just for the information she is getting from you.
That smile and good gesture you are getting from her are not because she cares. She is more interested in that information than your well-being. Every conversion with her seems like an interrogation.
These are the type of people that can blackmail you or set you up because they know too much. They know all your secrets. They can kill you.
Mind what you share with people, do not share too much. Be wiser than the serpent
This fellow is so loyal to you as long as he is gaining from you. His interest lies on what he is benefiting from you or what he has planned to benefit, after that, he is gone. He is not interested in whatsoever you are going through and can never share in your pain.
He only remembers you when you are at the peak of your career or when something good has just happened to you and abandons you when you are at your lowest, when things are becoming tough for you.
Keeping these types of people around you is really not worth it.
She will use you without any apology or appreciation. She treats you as if you don’t have a life of your own. No matter your sacrifices, she will never regard it because she feels it is your duty to always assist her.
She will only remember you when she is in trouble. This person calls you whenever she needs you as if it is your responsibility and you have no choice than to do it. It is her birth right.
She can never recognise all your efforts and sacrifices neither will she ever appreciate all your help. And once everything is sorted out for her, she will treat you like a trash.
Set yourself free and draw the line now. Don’t destroy yourself in the process to help her.
Adoration and praise are the fuel this person feeds on. He needs to be viewed as perfectly amazing. He is only interested in how his heroic actions make him look and always too full of himself.
Correction and criticism cannot be tolerated because that would burst his personal narrative of perfection. This person is forever trying to bring you down so he can feel better about his life.
He brags about his life and his achievements just to feel good. He will tell you how he spent his last holiday in Paris, how he shops for everything only in Dubai. It is pointless, and you don’t need it.
Being with this person will result in your self-esteem being negatively affected.
She can embarrass or disgrace you at any time and anywhere because she has no shame. She lacks manners. Your dignity and self-respect are at stake with this person around you. She talks anyhow and can even fight in the public places like in the market, in a party, etc. she does crazy things in the
Stop hanging with her. Whenever she calls, tell her you will call her back but don’t.
He does not care what you are going through or what is happening in your life. This person does not show compassion and never feel empathy. He is only occupying space in your life; he is of no value to you.
Nothing about you matters to him. These types of people will never understand you or understand how you feel. You don’t need him.
These types of people mentioned above bring negative energy into your life. They take away your peace and they are threats to your health, businesses, family, relationship, life and your overall happiness.
Associate yourself with people of great positivity. People who believe in you, who will bring out the best in you. People who will always encourage you, telling you don’t worry you can do it. People who will lift you when you are down.
Do not poison your life with toxic people. You deserve to be happy. Be bold enough to walk away from them because you do not need them. Be with people that make you happy. Nothing in life is worth your happiness, exchange it with nothing.
WHY SOME PEOPLE CANNOT WALK AWAY
Why are people scared of walking away from their toxic relationships or friends?
Some people are stuck in a relationship with these types of people or has a friend or two who is a pain in the butt. You are tired of that person but you cannot do anything about it. These are some of the reasons:
- Fear of being alone. Most people fall into this category. They see that person as the only friend they could ever have and feels once the person leaves, they will be left alone forever. Torment yourself no more. It is better to be alone than to be with someone yet unhappy.
- Thinking the person will change. Women are majorly affected in this group. They keep saying “I believe he will change”. My sister, he will not change. Some men will say, let me give her a little more time. Don’t waste time and your hope. You don’t need them and they don’t deserve you. You deserve someone better. Move on!
- The hope of what to gain from the person in the future (which might not likely come). Hmmmm, I pity for you my dear if you are in this category. He has promised you so many things, that is why you are ignoring all the danger sign starring at you right in your face. The earlier you realised that tomorrow is too far and you cannot keep postponing your happiness the better for you.
- They know too much about you. Sometimes you release too much of your information to people that you thought are your friends then, you find it difficult to break out from them, due to the fear of your secretes being exposed to the world. You have to take the bull by its horn. Dam the consequences and set yourself free for once.
Before I drop my pen, I know many people will be wondering who I am. I will tell you a little of me and why I am here.
First, my passion for writing is what brought me here. In addition, my zeal to positively influence my generation and be a solution to many problems but my fear delayed me until this time. Fear of the unknown. Fear of what if. What if this, what if that, I am very sure that I am not the only one in this type of situation.
So many of us have been through this, some are still trapped in it. Get up and pick up your life. Take that bold step today; it is never too late to start. It is never too late to pursue that your dream, whatsoever it is. This is that perfect time you have been waiting for. Grab it!
THE LADY BEHIND THE KEYBOARD
I am so shy talking about myself, #wink.
My name is Faith Oge, from the Eastern part of Nigeria, precisely Enugu state. I studied Chemical Engineering in one of the prestigious universities in Nigeria, Federal University of Technology Minna, Niger State where I got my Degree, Bachelor of Engineering (B-ENG) but before then, I had my Diploma from Federal Polytechnic Nasarawa, Nasarawa State. I have worked in some reputable organisations which helped in shapenning my ideology of life.
THE REAL ME
I am a woman who has been through ups and down, thick and thin and everything you could ever imagine but in all, I always have a way of pulling through. Hope and my inner strength are the things that have kept me going.
I devised some means of keeping myself happy, by doing some of the THINGS I LOVE especially at my leisure time. Since we are talking about staying happy today, I will share with you.
THINGS I LOVE
I am a music freak. I love listening to music; it helps me to relax.
I read a lot. I read anything I see even a piece of paper..LOL. That’s bad I know but I enjoy it.
I love writing. I write both for money and for fun, ranging from reports to speeches to scripts etc, some of my scripts are out there, will be shooting more soon. I started writing since my school days.
This is one of the things that keeps me happy, though it’s something I do once in a while but believe me. I enjoy every bit of it, it takes me out of this world and gives me this feeling of fulfilment.
I know a lot will be surprised to hear this one. I could remember some friends arguing about me some time ago, seriously arguing that indomie is the only thing they know I can cook. I did nothing but just laugh because they don’t know the real me. I love cooking real food as long as there are people to eat it.
- My privacy
Being alone in my quite place sometimes could be all I need to feel better. I talk with myself a lot; you can call me a psycho, no thank you because I am not. My inner self is my best friend, I discuss with her. Don’t worry that’s a topic for another day.
- Meeting people
Last but certainly not the least, I love meeting new and interesting people. I worked in some places that exposed me to meeting great individuals and the feeling is just awesome, especially when you meet people with like minds.
Now, you have known a bit about me. A full article on me will be coming up on this blog when the time is right. Everything about me, my journey so far, my joy and my pains, my tears and my laughter, all will be here.
I know someone somewhere will definitely learn a thing or two from my story. Stay tuned so you don’t miss a thing because this journey we are about to start will be an interesting one all through.
WHAT THE BLOG IS ALL ABOUT
Let us have a little intro about this blog, I am very sure you are still wondering what this is all about and why are you even here in the first place.
If you are on this journey with me, relax, fasten your seat belt because the journey is about to begin but if you are sitting somewhere just watching how it unfolds, don’t worry get yourself a glass of juice and a bowl of popcorn. #wink.
Concisely, this is a lifestyle blog. It will cover our lives, you and me. I want to know how you are living your life, how you overcome your challenges, how you got to where you are right now, your hopes and your fears, everything and I am sure you want to know about mine too in such way, we can learn together and encourage one another.
Everyone in this world needs someone to talk to at one point or the other, which is why we will be focusing mainly on RELATIONSHIPS with a little side attractions from other angles, from time to time.
This is something that affects every one of us. No one excels comfortably in life when you are in an unhealthy relationship. We all desire to be happy and most of the times our happiness is directly or indirectly affected by our relationships. I want to talk about a subject that is very close to us, which we can freely relate with because it is something that happens in our everyday lives.
Here, we will be talking about every kind of relationship, which includes:
Husband-wife, Boyfriend – girlfriend, Parents – children, Siblings – siblings, Friends – friends, Colleagues – colleagues, Neighbours–neighbours, Etc.
All these people put together are what made up the human life. If we all learn how to manage all these, our lives will be a bit sweeter than as it. From experience, I have seen how people struggle every day to maintain a healthy relationship. I fall under this category of people too. Sometimes, it could be exhausting, it drains our energy, leaves us very empty and most times vulnerable.
Let us take a very practical example, do you know that 85% of depressions, which mostly leads to suicides, could be totally avoided if only the victims had a healthy relationship whether with their partners or their parents or their friends or anyone whatsoever?
What about those people that have embraced alcohol and strong substances (drugs) as a means of refuge?
Few other examples we could look into:
- Some people have lost the affections of their loved ones due to poor management. Oh, you don’t know that people and relationships can be managed just the way you manage your businesses? Now you know.
- Some women are living inside hell fire while still on earth due to their unhealthy relationship.
- Some people (men, women, boys and girls) are living in a lonely world due to total or partial rejection they suffer from loved ones.
All these points and more are why we are here, we will learn how to manage and stay ahead of our relationships. We will talk about all of them subsequently on this blog, that is why I said it is going to be an interesting journey for all of us because I know you will stick with me throughout so that we can learn together.
There are a lot about you too that I and other readers will love to learn, I am sure will not be stingy with your story, you will love to share with us.
I want this blog to be an interactive one.
In the nearest future, I want to hear and see so many success stories of what we learnt and how this blog helped us all to overcome one challenge or the other.
I want us to build a family with a strong bond of love, where we can share our joy and pains with one another; probably, we can meet ourselves face to face someday.
I am very open and reachable, ready to hear from all of us whenever necessary. I am not a ghost. I live on this earth, breathe the same air as you, drink water, eat food and do other things you do as well, not all of them though lol.
This is officially my first blog post. I am not new to the writing world but I am very new to the blogging world. This can be regarded as an introductory post.
I am so excited and overwhelmed. I feel like I have been doing this for ages and I want you to be as excited as I am. I know you will ask why?.. don’t worry, just be happy for me because I am happy, hahaha. Don’t mind me, I was just kidding.
However, I seriously believe you will enjoy this as much as I am if not more, who knows.
Somebody asked me of my weakness, WHAT!! Do you want to kill me? Remember what we discussed about letting out your all, though I know bad friends are not here hahaha.
If I mistakenly tell you my weakness, you will just finish my life lol. Wait a minute; this is beginning to sound like a weakness to me. No, I don’t think so.
Please, my weakness is my inability to disclose my weakness. Yes, that is it. LOL.
TO MY SENIOR COLLEAGUES
I know this might sound like a blunder to you all, but please pardon my deficiencies. Your sister is just starting. I promise to do better next time but do not forget to send in your constructive criticism. It will be highly appreciated.
MY SINCERE APPRECIATION
I want to use this medium to sincerely appreciate, first, God Almighty, who it is only by his power and grace that I am here doing what I am doing right now. Without him, I would have been far gone and forgotten.
I want to thank all the people that saw to the birth of this project and all the people that contributed in one way or the other. Though the one I would have loved most if I had gotten would have been financial encouragement …LOL, I know you will say this girl likes money too much, no vex. It’s a joke.
Thank you, most especially, my influencers, my potential subscribers, and the new family I am building here. I love you all from my heart.
The essence of this post is for us to be careful in all our dealings with people.
People can make or mare you.
The responsibility of surrounding yourself with the good ones is totally up to you.
Remember, true friends should bring us happiness.
Rundown of the things we discussed:
- If we actually need people in our lives, which the answer is obviously, yes.
- Loneliness and it’s characteristics
- Effects of loneliness
- Treatments of loneliness
- Why we need people with different reasons.
- Types of people we don’t need in our lives with possible solutions
- Why people finds it difficult to walk away with possible solutions
- The lady behind the keyboard
- The real me
- Things I love
- What the blog is all about
- Why relationship
- My expectation
- My accessibility
- My weakness
- To my senior colleagues
- My sincere appreciation
I believe you have learnt something as much as I have. Your happiness matters a lot to me and I want you to be happy forever.
Surround yourself with people that genuinely love you and care dearly for your well-being, body and soul even if it is just one person.
Our next post is going to be greater, more exciting and very educative. Stay tuned.
Love you all. till we meet again.
I will love to hear from you. Tell me what you think, if you have people like this in your life and how you have been dealing with with them. Drop a comment or send me an email. I will respond without wasting time.